Since the last Toast Faces, I would say I am probably feeling worse. Not necessarily on average, but just there appears to have been more space made for unfortunate pain and illness. I do not feel I am losing, no, but it is truly disappointing to be unable to see the friends I want to see.
Toast Faces are in order from November 2013 - April 2014.
Toast Faces are in order from November 2013 - April 2014.
Completing each Toast Face requires a surprising amount of concentration, particularly in these more later ones as I am often battling with muscle pain all over my body, varying amounts of headache, and rather limited sight. On very bad days, there are also elements of nausea, dizziness, and anxiety, which is understandable when you can't see or feel much of where you are.
As you can see, there are some sad ones. Often I like to make a happy one, even if I am feeling awful because it cheers me up, but it's also important to be in tune with how we feel, so I might make a sad one, or one with glasses to represent me.
I had rather a setback recently when I took a Sertraline for the first time. I basically spent the entire night being sick, and it was probably one of the most awful things ever. Above Left is my attempt at a Toast Face the following evening. I smashed it a few times with my weak fist for good measure. Above Middle is my attempt at an evening meal. I was choosing plain things. Ultimately, these rather more depressing Faces actually stand as reminders of how strong and brave I am. Above Right is another very exhausted attempt, but in them I think there's a lot of cheeriness hidden beneath their smashed faces, in the same way there's a lot hidden behind mine. They are proof that I am strong and brilliant to even think of smiling when feeling that awful, and that every subsequent Toast Face away from these three is a further step into being better again.
Some of these just really make me laugh, though. I was probably very tired when I made them, and I normally have a pretty good memory, but sometimes I look over them and think, "What the goodness is that?" because they look so strange.
Finishing up here on a more ghoulish theme: A Toast Ghost, and everyone's favourite Great Old Toasty One.
So yes, I'm rather pleased with this second selection of Toast Faces. I always make them at 8pm, because I find I need something to eat then to help me sleep, but I have to have something plain - so the faces only really exist out of a kind of lacklustre, which I manage to counter by turning it into a silly face. I'd rather not make them at all, because I'd rather be eating what ever I want, or even seeing my friends at 8pm, (imagine that!) instead of taking an entire hour to rest off to bed. The irony is, I didn't need this illness to teach me how to be respective of Energy and Time; I already knew it. I think a lot of people would benefit from that knowledge. Maybe there should be "International Sit Down at 8pm and Make a Toast Face Day"? Just a thought.